FIC Photo Shoot Shenanigans
15/5/11 23:52![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shanachie_quillTitle: Photo Shoot Shenanigans
Characters: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mandy Taylor, Leeanna Ryan, Hailey Church
Fandom: Captain America RPF, Thor RPF
Series: N/A
Written For:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
emocezi , illfindmyway
Prompt: This picture:
Summary: Adult supervision should be required at photo shoots
Rating: R
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: CRACK, Swearing, Real People that I don’t actually know involved
Disclaimer: I don’t actually know these people so all of these actions are made up. This did not actually happen. This is all a product of my more than fertile imagination.
Author's Note: So this was not what I had planned to write yesterday or today. It also would not leave me alone. I know I swore I would not write another RPF, but when something starts poking at my head; sometimes I just can’t get it to leave me alone. Special thanks go toillfindmyway and emocezi who are the bestest and were my hand-holders for this. This is crack and really has no redeeming features. Entertainment value only. I have no excuse for this…really.
“Jesus fucking Christ! Put me down, Evans! I am not your Kewpie doll!”
“Um, hi?” Chris Hemsworth had to admit this was a new situation. He had been told to report to the photo studio to do some promotionals for Thor with the lead for Captain America. He’d met Chris Evans on a few occasions and knew the other man was a bit of a joker. He hadn’t expected to walk in and find the slimmer man with a small woman over one shoulder and her ineffectually pounding him on the back.
“HEMI!” Evans exclaimed, starting to throw both arms out and then remembering he was holding the girl. “You’re here!”
“Oh, crap,” the girl groaned. “I swear this is not what it looks like.”
“It looks like Evans decided to show you he could pick you up,” Hemsworth responded.
She considered his answer and sighed. “Okay. It’s exactly what it looks like. God damn it, Evans. Put me DOWN! This is not making me look like a professional.”
“And swearing at me does?” he questioned as he tipped her upright and set her on her feet. He grasped her arm as she swayed a bit from being turned this way and that.
Hemsworth blinked as he realized how small she actually was, not even reaching five feet if his guess was right and slight on top of that which made her look even smaller. No wonder Evans had lifted her up so easily. “No, but it makes me feel better,” she snapped. “Could you please stop using me as your personal toy? Didn’t we discuss this last time?”
“But you’re so little!” he answered gleefully. “I can’t help myself.”
“Try,” she told him dryly. Pointing at the screens lined up on the side of the room that created a small blocked off area, she indicated his spot. “Go. Change. Now!” Evans pouted at her, but did as she ordered and she turned to Hemsworth. “Hi, really, I’m not normally this bad.”
He smiled easily, the grin lighting up his whole face. “I’ve worked with Evans before. He does tend to bring out the psycho.”
She laughed at that. “Among other things. So. More professional. Right.” She held out a hand. “Hi. I’m Mandy Taylor. Chris Hemsworth, correct? Welcome to the nuthouse.”
“Might Tiny!” Evans yelled from behind the screen.
“Shut it, Evans!” she yelled back without turning. “I am not acknowledging you if you call me that!”
“Aw, but you love that name,” Evans said, coming out from behind the screens with a shirt in his hand. He’d changed his jeans but hadn’t pulled another shirt on. “Is this the shirt I’m supposed to wear?”
“Did it have your name on it?” she asked patiently. “And go directly to Leeanna when you’ve got it on so she can put your make-up on and fix your hair.” She held up a finger when he started to protest. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Might Tiny?” Hemsworth questioned with a smirk when she turned her attention back to him.
“Hemi?” she retorted.
“Touché,” he responded. “But mine at least makes a little sense. It’s a shortening of my name.”
“And you are hella big,” she replied, having stepped back so she wasn’t completely craning her neck to look up at him. “Okay, short version. Started as my initials M.T. Then went to Mighty and finally to Might Tiny. He thinks it’s hysterical.” She shrugged. “It’s better than ‘Empty’ which is what most people come up with.”
“Mandy?” They both turned as a dark haired woman approached them. She wasn’t any older than Mandy, but quite a few inches taller and darker skinned than the honey blond. She held a clipboard in one hand and had a camera slung over a shoulder. “Any idea how much longer?”
“I was just about to send Hemsworth to change,” Mandy answered. She indicated the woman with a hand. “Chris Hemsworth, my assistant, Hailey Church.” She took the clipboard Hailey held out to her, glancing over it. “If you go behind the screen Evans went behind, there’s clothes with your name on it. Just give a yell if you need something. And to your right after you come out is hair and make-up. Leeanna Ryan will be taking care of you. We’ll start as soon as you’re both ready.” Turning to Hailey, she indicated some changes she wanted to make and walked off with the other woman.
The Chrises The Chrises The Chrises The Chrises The Chrises The Chrises
Mandy glanced at the little battery clock she kept on the table as an attempt to keep her on schedule. She’d learned a long time ago that wearing a watch did nothing but annoy her. Seeing that she needed to start the actual session soon or risk running over because of shenanigans or other issues, she hollered, “Chris!”
Two voices yelled back in almost perfect unison, “What?!”
“Oh. Crap. You’re both Chris. Right,” she responded, just loud enough for them to hear as they rounded the edge of the divider. A petite red-head trailed behind them, a black smock covering her clothes. “Great. Okay. We’ll go with last names then. Cause I am not ‘Thing One’ and ‘Thing Two’ing you guys.”
“Should I be worried that was even a consideration?” Hemsworth asked as they stopped in front of her for inspection.
Evans shook his head. “Nah. She didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I love being talked about like I’m not standing right here,” Mandy commented. “Hemsworth…god that takes forever to say…any personal space issues I should know about?”
“Personal space?” he questioned.
“Do you have any issues with people being up in your face, moving you around, leaning against you? Anything like that? Male or female?” she rattled off quickly.
He shook his head, almost bemused by her rapid fire delivery and that she’d even asked the question. “No, no, and um, no. I’m good with whatever,” he replied.
“Awesome,” she said. “Let’s get going.” She pointed towards a well-lit area that was draped in drop cloths. “You two are over there. And I think…” She paused to consider them for a minute. “Charlie’s Angels pose to start. Evans on the right.” Spinning around she spotted Hailey already headed towards them with the shield in one hand and the hammer in the other. “You read my mind,” she said with a grin.
“More like it makes sense and I know the way you work,” Hailey replied with a matching grin.
For a little while there was an almost professional quality to the shoot; things went smoothly as Mandy gave directions and snapped the pictures she wanted, moving between shots rapidly. She was obviously moving quickly to prevent too much downtime and time for trouble to start.
Finally she called a halt, reaching for the memory card that Hailey was holding out to her. “Take five, Chrises,” she said. “Leeanna, get them for touch ups. And, Hailey…”
“Already on it, Mandy,” Hailey said, grabbing the chair that was standing next to the table they had been using.
While Hailey arranged the chair so it was sitting in the middle of the drop cloth area, Leeanna guided them both away from the area and began to fuss over them, fixing whatever had gotten mussed while they were moving around. Evans reached for Leeanna’s waist one of the times she passed in front of him and she paused to level a glare at him. "Christopher Robert Evans. Do we really want a repeat of last time?"
He drew his hands back quickly, shifting so he could stuff them in his pockets. “No. No, absolutely not. I’ll be good.” He looked abashed as she went back to fussing over him. “I’m sorry, Lee.”
“Good boy,” she answered before turning to Hemsworth. Since he hadn’t been moving around nearly as much; there wasn’t as much to do and within a few minutes she proclaimed them both ready.
"Evans, why does she know your full name? And what precisely did she do to you?" Hemsworth leaned over as Leeanna turned to see if the set-up was done.
The blue eyes that turned to look at him were almost comical in how wide and freaked out they were. "It was bad. It was really bad," he said solemnly. “I never want to experience that again.”
Leeanna grinned evilly as she turned back around. “I gave him a wedgie. I am not a doll.”
“Evans,” Mandy yelled from where she and Hailey were discussing the next shot, “my girls and I are not your personal toys!"
“But you’re so much fun to play with!” he yelled back.
“Not. Toys,” she responded. "Really," she sighed as they made their way back over to the set-up area. "We are professionals."
Hemsworth laughed off her concern. "Don't worry about it. This is the most fun I've ever had at a photo shoot. And it's a whole lot easier to do this when relaxed. I’d rather deal with a goofball like Evans than prima donnas any day."
Evans batted his eyelashes at them and put his hands up by his face like a girl with a schoolyard crush. "He likes me. He really likes me." He threw his arms around Mandy and Hailey, tossing a grin at Leeanna. “And you all loooove me."
Both women shrugged his arms off and Hailey pushed him towards the chair. “Go, stand behind the chair,” Hailey ordered. “Hemsworth, please have a seat on the chair.”
The room was silent except for Hailey’s directions as she attempted to arrange the two men into the position she and Mandy had decided on. Both of them were trying, but the time had worn on them and even the simplest directions were going over their heads. It wasn’t lack of understanding, but lack of being able to comprehend because of being tired. Finally Hailey resorted to physically moving them into position, prompting Evans to call, “Mandy, Hailey’s being ‘handsy’!”
The woman in question didn’t look up from where she was scanning through the digital copies of the pictures she’d already taken. “If you’d been able to follow a simple direction she wouldn’t have had to get ‘handsy’ as you put it.”
“I think they’re good,” Hailey decided as she stepped back, head tilting to the side to consider their positions. Hemsworth leaned slightly forward, shifting the hammer in his hands and she stepped in to move him, but Evans crossed his arms in front of him as she did and she moved back.
Mandy looked up, raising her camera, and motioning for Hailey to move out of the shot as she quickly began shooting. “Now that’s the shot,” she declared.
Characters: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mandy Taylor, Leeanna Ryan, Hailey Church
Fandom: Captain America RPF, Thor RPF
Series: N/A
Written For:
emocezi , illfindmyway Prompt: This picture:
Summary: Adult supervision should be required at photo shoots
Rating: R
Spoilers: N/A
Warnings: CRACK, Swearing, Real People that I don’t actually know involved
Disclaimer: I don’t actually know these people so all of these actions are made up. This did not actually happen. This is all a product of my more than fertile imagination.
Author's Note: So this was not what I had planned to write yesterday or today. It also would not leave me alone. I know I swore I would not write another RPF, but when something starts poking at my head; sometimes I just can’t get it to leave me alone. Special thanks go to
illfindmyway and emocezi who are the bestest and were my hand-holders for this. This is crack and really has no redeeming features. Entertainment value only. I have no excuse for this…really.“Jesus fucking Christ! Put me down, Evans! I am not your Kewpie doll!”
“Um, hi?” Chris Hemsworth had to admit this was a new situation. He had been told to report to the photo studio to do some promotionals for Thor with the lead for Captain America. He’d met Chris Evans on a few occasions and knew the other man was a bit of a joker. He hadn’t expected to walk in and find the slimmer man with a small woman over one shoulder and her ineffectually pounding him on the back.
“HEMI!” Evans exclaimed, starting to throw both arms out and then remembering he was holding the girl. “You’re here!”
“Oh, crap,” the girl groaned. “I swear this is not what it looks like.”
“It looks like Evans decided to show you he could pick you up,” Hemsworth responded.
She considered his answer and sighed. “Okay. It’s exactly what it looks like. God damn it, Evans. Put me DOWN! This is not making me look like a professional.”
“And swearing at me does?” he questioned as he tipped her upright and set her on her feet. He grasped her arm as she swayed a bit from being turned this way and that.
Hemsworth blinked as he realized how small she actually was, not even reaching five feet if his guess was right and slight on top of that which made her look even smaller. No wonder Evans had lifted her up so easily. “No, but it makes me feel better,” she snapped. “Could you please stop using me as your personal toy? Didn’t we discuss this last time?”
“But you’re so little!” he answered gleefully. “I can’t help myself.”
“Try,” she told him dryly. Pointing at the screens lined up on the side of the room that created a small blocked off area, she indicated his spot. “Go. Change. Now!” Evans pouted at her, but did as she ordered and she turned to Hemsworth. “Hi, really, I’m not normally this bad.”
He smiled easily, the grin lighting up his whole face. “I’ve worked with Evans before. He does tend to bring out the psycho.”
She laughed at that. “Among other things. So. More professional. Right.” She held out a hand. “Hi. I’m Mandy Taylor. Chris Hemsworth, correct? Welcome to the nuthouse.”
“Might Tiny!” Evans yelled from behind the screen.
“Shut it, Evans!” she yelled back without turning. “I am not acknowledging you if you call me that!”
“Aw, but you love that name,” Evans said, coming out from behind the screens with a shirt in his hand. He’d changed his jeans but hadn’t pulled another shirt on. “Is this the shirt I’m supposed to wear?”
“Did it have your name on it?” she asked patiently. “And go directly to Leeanna when you’ve got it on so she can put your make-up on and fix your hair.” She held up a finger when he started to protest. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Might Tiny?” Hemsworth questioned with a smirk when she turned her attention back to him.
“Hemi?” she retorted.
“Touché,” he responded. “But mine at least makes a little sense. It’s a shortening of my name.”
“And you are hella big,” she replied, having stepped back so she wasn’t completely craning her neck to look up at him. “Okay, short version. Started as my initials M.T. Then went to Mighty and finally to Might Tiny. He thinks it’s hysterical.” She shrugged. “It’s better than ‘Empty’ which is what most people come up with.”
“Mandy?” They both turned as a dark haired woman approached them. She wasn’t any older than Mandy, but quite a few inches taller and darker skinned than the honey blond. She held a clipboard in one hand and had a camera slung over a shoulder. “Any idea how much longer?”
“I was just about to send Hemsworth to change,” Mandy answered. She indicated the woman with a hand. “Chris Hemsworth, my assistant, Hailey Church.” She took the clipboard Hailey held out to her, glancing over it. “If you go behind the screen Evans went behind, there’s clothes with your name on it. Just give a yell if you need something. And to your right after you come out is hair and make-up. Leeanna Ryan will be taking care of you. We’ll start as soon as you’re both ready.” Turning to Hailey, she indicated some changes she wanted to make and walked off with the other woman.
Mandy glanced at the little battery clock she kept on the table as an attempt to keep her on schedule. She’d learned a long time ago that wearing a watch did nothing but annoy her. Seeing that she needed to start the actual session soon or risk running over because of shenanigans or other issues, she hollered, “Chris!”
Two voices yelled back in almost perfect unison, “What?!”
“Oh. Crap. You’re both Chris. Right,” she responded, just loud enough for them to hear as they rounded the edge of the divider. A petite red-head trailed behind them, a black smock covering her clothes. “Great. Okay. We’ll go with last names then. Cause I am not ‘Thing One’ and ‘Thing Two’ing you guys.”
“Should I be worried that was even a consideration?” Hemsworth asked as they stopped in front of her for inspection.
Evans shook his head. “Nah. She didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I love being talked about like I’m not standing right here,” Mandy commented. “Hemsworth…god that takes forever to say…any personal space issues I should know about?”
“Personal space?” he questioned.
“Do you have any issues with people being up in your face, moving you around, leaning against you? Anything like that? Male or female?” she rattled off quickly.
He shook his head, almost bemused by her rapid fire delivery and that she’d even asked the question. “No, no, and um, no. I’m good with whatever,” he replied.
“Awesome,” she said. “Let’s get going.” She pointed towards a well-lit area that was draped in drop cloths. “You two are over there. And I think…” She paused to consider them for a minute. “Charlie’s Angels pose to start. Evans on the right.” Spinning around she spotted Hailey already headed towards them with the shield in one hand and the hammer in the other. “You read my mind,” she said with a grin.
“More like it makes sense and I know the way you work,” Hailey replied with a matching grin.
For a little while there was an almost professional quality to the shoot; things went smoothly as Mandy gave directions and snapped the pictures she wanted, moving between shots rapidly. She was obviously moving quickly to prevent too much downtime and time for trouble to start.
Finally she called a halt, reaching for the memory card that Hailey was holding out to her. “Take five, Chrises,” she said. “Leeanna, get them for touch ups. And, Hailey…”
“Already on it, Mandy,” Hailey said, grabbing the chair that was standing next to the table they had been using.
While Hailey arranged the chair so it was sitting in the middle of the drop cloth area, Leeanna guided them both away from the area and began to fuss over them, fixing whatever had gotten mussed while they were moving around. Evans reached for Leeanna’s waist one of the times she passed in front of him and she paused to level a glare at him. "Christopher Robert Evans. Do we really want a repeat of last time?"
He drew his hands back quickly, shifting so he could stuff them in his pockets. “No. No, absolutely not. I’ll be good.” He looked abashed as she went back to fussing over him. “I’m sorry, Lee.”
“Good boy,” she answered before turning to Hemsworth. Since he hadn’t been moving around nearly as much; there wasn’t as much to do and within a few minutes she proclaimed them both ready.
"Evans, why does she know your full name? And what precisely did she do to you?" Hemsworth leaned over as Leeanna turned to see if the set-up was done.
The blue eyes that turned to look at him were almost comical in how wide and freaked out they were. "It was bad. It was really bad," he said solemnly. “I never want to experience that again.”
Leeanna grinned evilly as she turned back around. “I gave him a wedgie. I am not a doll.”
“Evans,” Mandy yelled from where she and Hailey were discussing the next shot, “my girls and I are not your personal toys!"
“But you’re so much fun to play with!” he yelled back.
“Not. Toys,” she responded. "Really," she sighed as they made their way back over to the set-up area. "We are professionals."
Hemsworth laughed off her concern. "Don't worry about it. This is the most fun I've ever had at a photo shoot. And it's a whole lot easier to do this when relaxed. I’d rather deal with a goofball like Evans than prima donnas any day."
Evans batted his eyelashes at them and put his hands up by his face like a girl with a schoolyard crush. "He likes me. He really likes me." He threw his arms around Mandy and Hailey, tossing a grin at Leeanna. “And you all loooove me."
Both women shrugged his arms off and Hailey pushed him towards the chair. “Go, stand behind the chair,” Hailey ordered. “Hemsworth, please have a seat on the chair.”
The room was silent except for Hailey’s directions as she attempted to arrange the two men into the position she and Mandy had decided on. Both of them were trying, but the time had worn on them and even the simplest directions were going over their heads. It wasn’t lack of understanding, but lack of being able to comprehend because of being tired. Finally Hailey resorted to physically moving them into position, prompting Evans to call, “Mandy, Hailey’s being ‘handsy’!”
The woman in question didn’t look up from where she was scanning through the digital copies of the pictures she’d already taken. “If you’d been able to follow a simple direction she wouldn’t have had to get ‘handsy’ as you put it.”
“I think they’re good,” Hailey decided as she stepped back, head tilting to the side to consider their positions. Hemsworth leaned slightly forward, shifting the hammer in his hands and she stepped in to move him, but Evans crossed his arms in front of him as she did and she moved back.
Mandy looked up, raising her camera, and motioning for Hailey to move out of the shot as she quickly began shooting. “Now that’s the shot,” she declared.
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