FIC Catnip Conundrum
22/1/12 22:55![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shanachie_quillTitle: Catnip Conundrum
Characters: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Series: Shifter Verse
Written For: emocezi
Prompt: catnipped Steve
Summary: A routine drug bust goes very wrong when the drug on site isn’t what the team is expecting.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: for my series
Warnings: affectionate kitty!Steve, ranting!Danny
Disclaimer: No one recognizable from H50 belongs to me, the idea of shifter verse is borrowed with permission from emocezi and written for her. No money is being made from this.
Author's Note: This is a very belated birthday pressie for emocezi. And since she actually texted me this week and told me something to the effect of “you should write something for me”. Although I’m pretty sure she was just kidding…I decided to do it anyway. So this is part of the shifter verse, takes place after the boys have actually consummated their mating. And if you want to see what an actual tiger does on catnip...it's pretty amusing.
“I realize we have full immunity and means, but explain to me the point of us going after a couple of drug dealers. Low level pot drug dealers at that,” Danny bitched as Steve navigated around Honolulu’s early morning traffic. “Hey. Hey. This is not a race and I’d rather you didn’t roll my car. Plus losing Chin and Kono would be a very bad idea.”
“Because one of those dealers may very well be supplying your buddy, Toast. And somehow I don’t think we want that getting out,” Steve replied as he took the turn that would take them into the warehouse district.
“Because Toast would be stupid enough to get caught like that?” Danny said.
Steve rolled his eyes. “Need I remind you who we’re talking about? Pakalo?”
“Okay. Caught again,” Danny amended.
The car skidded a little on the gravel as Steve pulled up in front of a building, Danny gripping the handle above the door. He’d given up yelling about the actual driving a while ago and concentrated on just staying alive. As they both exited the car, the doors slamming behind them, he started, “If you kill us before we get to the scene…”
Steve handed Danny his vest and tugged his own over his head. “I was perfectly in control.” He glanced at Chin and Kono as they joined them by the trunk. Within a few minutes, he’d sketched out a plan of attack and they were ready to move in. For a moment after that, the sound of ratcheting slides filled the air as they checked chambers and readied their weapons.
Chin and Kono moved away when they were ready to give them a private moment. “Ready?” Steve asked, glancing at Danny as he slammed his gun home.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I mean, you gave me the reasons for doing this, but you didn’t sound convinced,” Danny replied. “It’s probably not going to give you much…action.”
Steve wrapped his hand around Danny’s neck, pulling the shorter man towards him and resting his forehead against Danny’s. “It’ll be fine.”
“Yeah? Suddenly your tiger makes you omniscient?”
“Nope.” Steve flashed a grin at him. “But I have you.” He pressed a quick kiss to Danny’s lips, before striding away, signaling for Chin and Kono to take up their positions.
“Oh, you have me. Great, that makes me feel so much better,” Danny gripped.
The team moved into position; Danny settling behind Steve with a hand on his back. The shifter shuddered for a moment, bowing his head before straightening up and locking eyes with Chin. The older man held up three fingers, counting down, before easing the door open. Up above them, Kono opened the door that would lead onto a catwalk.
Bursting through the open door, the team spread out, staggering their yells and sweeping the warehouse, “Five-O! Five-O! Freeze! Hands up!”
Danny was the first to notice, lowering his gun as he straightened up. “Um, guys? There’s no one here.”
Steve tilted his head up, clearly scenting the air. “There aren’t any people here,” he confirmed. “But there’s clearly…”
“Hey.” Danny moved closer as Steve drifted towards one of the boxes. “Hey.” He frowned as the taller man practically stuck his nose into it. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.
“Smells gooood,” Steve responded.
Danny tried to push him aside, then gave up and dug a hand in, pulling out a handful of the dried plant. “Um, guys? This isn’t pot.” He looked at Steve who was attempting to crawl into the box now. “It’s catnip.”
Kono had clambered down when they’d realized the warehouse was empty and she looked at Danny in horror. “That can’t be good.”
He shook his head. “You know. I really thought I left all the dumbasses behind in Jersey. I mean, you call in a pot sighting for catnip? I mean I realize they’re both plants, but they don’t look that similar.”
“Yeah, well, we’ve got a problem now,” Chin pointed out. “Tigers and catnip?”
“He’s not going to get violent, is he?” Kono asked as Steve began to pull handfuls of the plant out of the case.
“No, thank god,” Danny answered. “Hey. Hey. Don’t eat that! No, bad kitty!” He grabbed for the handful Steve was about to put into his mouth. When Steve growled at him, Danny batted at his nose. “Don’t you even. You know better.”
Steve glared at Danny for a moment, before heading back to the box as the other members of Five-O quickly cracked the seals on a couple more boxes. Despite everything, they needed to make sure there wasn’t actual marijuana under the catnip. Steve meanwhile had made a pile of the catnip he’d found. When Danny turned back around to check on him, the shifter was carefully moving the plant into a nest. His pupils were blown so wide that there was only a thin ring of hazel left around the black and he was making a chittering noise.
“Oh, that can’t be good,” Danny commented, looking at the taller man.
Steve’s head popped up at the other man’s words and he moved gracefully into a crouch position, his rear end wiggling slightly. It was unusual for him to show the more overt signs of his feline side when he was still human, other than more graceful movements than would normally be seen, but now he reminded Danny of nothing more than a cat about to pounce. Danny held his hands up in protest, waving him off. “No. No. No! Bad idea. No, Steve! Bad kitty!”
His words had no effect on the other man, if anything they seemed to spur him on as Steve leaped towards the shorter detective; easily taking him down. Danny oomphed as he hit the concrete floor, Steve’s hand cradling the back of his head and cushioning it so he didn’t crack it open. Chin and Kono started towards them, but Steve’s head went up at their movement and he growled low in his throat, causing them to back off. Danny gripped the hair at the back of his head, redirecting his attention.
Steve pulled against Danny’s hold, finally getting the shorter man to release him. Freed, he rubbed his face against Danny’s neck and lower face; interspacing the motion with small nips and licks. In any other instance Danny would have pushed him away, but he figured out pretty quick what the shifter was doing and knew it would be better just to let him. Finally satisfied, Steve rolled to all fours above the smaller man. Danny snorted as he got a good look at the other man. “Oh, babe, you are so stoned.”
“Danny,” Chin spoke from his position off to the side. “I think you’d better take him home.”
“So open to suggestions, Chin,” Danny answered. “I’m kinda at a disadvantage here.”
“Kono, think you can distract our big kitty for a minute?” Chin asked.
“What did you have in mind?” Kono replied suspiciously. “I am not playing rookie bait.”
“He’s not violent,” Chin reassured her. “Just very, very playful.” Looking around he found a paper bag and quickly stuffed it half-full of catnip. Steve’s head had gone up at the movement and he was watching them; curiosity peeking through some of the glazed stoner look. Tossing the bag to Kono, Chin motioned for his cousin to take it upwards, correctly guessing that the shifter would follow her.
Danny rolled to his feet as soon as Steve was no longer pinning him down. “So. Ideas for getting him out of here?”
Chin looked up at the sound of thundering feet from above, but when no bodies came tumbling down and the noise continued onwards, he turned his attention back to Danny. “We need a second bag and more of the catnip. And then attempt to lure him into the car.”
“He can’t OD on this stuff, can he?” Danny questioned as they began to scour the surrounding area for a bag.
Chin held up a bag, checking to make sure there were no holes in it. “He’s not going to kill himself if that’s what you’re asking. Eventually he’ll pass out though. And he will reach a point where he’s got too much in his system.”
“We need to get him home before then,” Danny pointed out.
“No. You need to get him home. He’s not going to want either of us there once he starts to come down.”
Danny looked worried for a moment. “He’s not going to. This isn’t going. We just went through a rut. This won’t be that?” he asked quietly.
Chin shook his head, hastening to reassure the mainlander. “No. He’s just. He’ll be very affectionate, but not horny. He’ll probably want to sleep once he comes down.”
“Okay. Let’s go bag us a stoned kitty.” Danny finished stuffing the last of the bag with catnip. “Ideas?”
“Here, kitty, kitty?” Chin suggested with no trace of irony.
Danny rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket, dialing Kono. “Think you can lead psycho kitty back this way?” he asked when she answered. “Outside would be even better.”
“Sure thing, Danny,” she answered. “We getting him outta here?”
“Chin thinks it’ll be better if I take him home alone, but yeah,” Danny told her. “See ya outside.”
A few minutes after the two men exited the warehouse, Kono came running out; Steve hot on her heels. Danny was glad to see he hadn’t shifted into tiger form. Somehow the young cop was keeping a few steps ahead of him. Danny waved the bag, releasing the fresher scent into the air and Steve veered towards him, almost slamming Danny into the side of the Camaro. “Hey, ease up there, Rambo!” he yelped. “You can have the devil weed. Just…into the car!” He opened the door and tossed the bag inside, darting out of the way as Steve dived in after it.
The shifter grabbed the bag, pawing at it as if he forgot he had opposable thumbs and finally sticking his entire head inside as he got the bag open. Danny sighed in response, knowing he wouldn’t get the bag away without a fight. “How is this my life?” he asked. “No. Really. How is this my life? I did not sign up for this when you dragged me into your insanity of a task force.” He turned to see Chin and Kono watching him with amused smiles on their faces. “What?”
“You done, brah?” Kono asked.
“Yeah.” He glanced back at the car where Steve was still happily sniffing the bag. “I suppose I should be glad he’s still human. A three hundred plus pound stoned tiger is really not my idea of a fun time.”
“No, at least he’s semi-lucid in this state,” Chin agreed. “Take him home and Kono and I will come get the Camaro afterwards. And get it aired out.”
“Thanks, Chin.” Danny paused with his hand on the door. “I’ll…”
“Just go. We’ll lock things down here and then just come over to the house,” Chin told him.
Without another word, Danny got into the car, leaning over to buckle Steve in. The shifter was so focused on his bag of catnip that he didn’t even notice and Danny shook his head as he started the car, carefully backing away from the warehouse.
The drive back to their house was remarkably silent; the quietest car ride the two men had ever experienced. Danny kept glancing over at every opportunity to make sure Steve hadn’t passed out yet. The shifter was still happily snuffling in his bag each time though and Danny pulled into the driveway without incident. He realized the problem with their plan then since he had no bribe to get Steve into the house.
After a minute, Danny got out of the car, moving around and opening the passenger door. Reaching in, he brushed a hand across Steve’s head, smiling indulgently as the other man arched into the touch. “Hey. How about we go into the house?” he asked. Steve rolled his head, pushing up against Danny’s hand, but didn’t move. “If you come inside, I bet we can find somewhere to lie down,” he coaxed. “Come on.” Danny tugged on Steve’s arm, continuing to coax the larger man from the car.
It took a few minutes, but finally he got the shifter moving, although the larger man draped himself over Danny once they were both out of the car. Danny managed to get him to leave the bag in the car and they made their way up the path and into the house. Once inside, Steve broke away from the smaller man and strode away, clearly searching for something. A minute later, he was back and grabbing Danny by the arm. He tugged him in the direction he’d gone, making a mewling noise. “Okay, I got it, follow you,” Danny said. “I’m coming.” He grabbed a blanket as they passed the couch, guessing that they were heading for the crash part of Steve’s high.
Steve dragged him through the house to the only spot that was still getting sun at this time of day. Pushing at Danny until the other man started to lower himself to the ground; he arranged the two of them on the floor and promptly fell asleep. Danny blinked at the speed in which Steve had crashed, trying to shift position. Steve’s hands clenched on his thighs and he realized he was stuck here until the other man woke up. Leaning back against the wall, he absentmindedly ran his hand through Steve’s hair as he waited for Chin and Kono. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too long and he could have one of them get him a book or a tablet. Who knew how long Steve would sleep off this high. While he waited he began to make lists of who to go after for daring to poison his shifter. There was going to be hell to pay when Steve was feeling better. You didn’t mess with a mated pair.
Characters: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly, Kono Kalakaua
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Series: Shifter Verse
Written For: emocezi
Prompt: catnipped Steve
Summary: A routine drug bust goes very wrong when the drug on site isn’t what the team is expecting.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: for my series
Warnings: affectionate kitty!Steve, ranting!Danny
Disclaimer: No one recognizable from H50 belongs to me, the idea of shifter verse is borrowed with permission from emocezi and written for her. No money is being made from this.
Author's Note: This is a very belated birthday pressie for emocezi. And since she actually texted me this week and told me something to the effect of “you should write something for me”. Although I’m pretty sure she was just kidding…I decided to do it anyway. So this is part of the shifter verse, takes place after the boys have actually consummated their mating. And if you want to see what an actual tiger does on catnip...it's pretty amusing.
“I realize we have full immunity and means, but explain to me the point of us going after a couple of drug dealers. Low level pot drug dealers at that,” Danny bitched as Steve navigated around Honolulu’s early morning traffic. “Hey. Hey. This is not a race and I’d rather you didn’t roll my car. Plus losing Chin and Kono would be a very bad idea.”
“Because one of those dealers may very well be supplying your buddy, Toast. And somehow I don’t think we want that getting out,” Steve replied as he took the turn that would take them into the warehouse district.
“Because Toast would be stupid enough to get caught like that?” Danny said.
Steve rolled his eyes. “Need I remind you who we’re talking about? Pakalo?”
“Okay. Caught again,” Danny amended.
The car skidded a little on the gravel as Steve pulled up in front of a building, Danny gripping the handle above the door. He’d given up yelling about the actual driving a while ago and concentrated on just staying alive. As they both exited the car, the doors slamming behind them, he started, “If you kill us before we get to the scene…”
Steve handed Danny his vest and tugged his own over his head. “I was perfectly in control.” He glanced at Chin and Kono as they joined them by the trunk. Within a few minutes, he’d sketched out a plan of attack and they were ready to move in. For a moment after that, the sound of ratcheting slides filled the air as they checked chambers and readied their weapons.
Chin and Kono moved away when they were ready to give them a private moment. “Ready?” Steve asked, glancing at Danny as he slammed his gun home.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I mean, you gave me the reasons for doing this, but you didn’t sound convinced,” Danny replied. “It’s probably not going to give you much…action.”
Steve wrapped his hand around Danny’s neck, pulling the shorter man towards him and resting his forehead against Danny’s. “It’ll be fine.”
“Yeah? Suddenly your tiger makes you omniscient?”
“Nope.” Steve flashed a grin at him. “But I have you.” He pressed a quick kiss to Danny’s lips, before striding away, signaling for Chin and Kono to take up their positions.
“Oh, you have me. Great, that makes me feel so much better,” Danny gripped.
The team moved into position; Danny settling behind Steve with a hand on his back. The shifter shuddered for a moment, bowing his head before straightening up and locking eyes with Chin. The older man held up three fingers, counting down, before easing the door open. Up above them, Kono opened the door that would lead onto a catwalk.
Bursting through the open door, the team spread out, staggering their yells and sweeping the warehouse, “Five-O! Five-O! Freeze! Hands up!”
Danny was the first to notice, lowering his gun as he straightened up. “Um, guys? There’s no one here.”
Steve tilted his head up, clearly scenting the air. “There aren’t any people here,” he confirmed. “But there’s clearly…”
“Hey.” Danny moved closer as Steve drifted towards one of the boxes. “Hey.” He frowned as the taller man practically stuck his nose into it. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.
“Smells gooood,” Steve responded.
Danny tried to push him aside, then gave up and dug a hand in, pulling out a handful of the dried plant. “Um, guys? This isn’t pot.” He looked at Steve who was attempting to crawl into the box now. “It’s catnip.”
Kono had clambered down when they’d realized the warehouse was empty and she looked at Danny in horror. “That can’t be good.”
He shook his head. “You know. I really thought I left all the dumbasses behind in Jersey. I mean, you call in a pot sighting for catnip? I mean I realize they’re both plants, but they don’t look that similar.”
“Yeah, well, we’ve got a problem now,” Chin pointed out. “Tigers and catnip?”
“He’s not going to get violent, is he?” Kono asked as Steve began to pull handfuls of the plant out of the case.
“No, thank god,” Danny answered. “Hey. Hey. Don’t eat that! No, bad kitty!” He grabbed for the handful Steve was about to put into his mouth. When Steve growled at him, Danny batted at his nose. “Don’t you even. You know better.”
Steve glared at Danny for a moment, before heading back to the box as the other members of Five-O quickly cracked the seals on a couple more boxes. Despite everything, they needed to make sure there wasn’t actual marijuana under the catnip. Steve meanwhile had made a pile of the catnip he’d found. When Danny turned back around to check on him, the shifter was carefully moving the plant into a nest. His pupils were blown so wide that there was only a thin ring of hazel left around the black and he was making a chittering noise.
“Oh, that can’t be good,” Danny commented, looking at the taller man.
Steve’s head popped up at the other man’s words and he moved gracefully into a crouch position, his rear end wiggling slightly. It was unusual for him to show the more overt signs of his feline side when he was still human, other than more graceful movements than would normally be seen, but now he reminded Danny of nothing more than a cat about to pounce. Danny held his hands up in protest, waving him off. “No. No. No! Bad idea. No, Steve! Bad kitty!”
His words had no effect on the other man, if anything they seemed to spur him on as Steve leaped towards the shorter detective; easily taking him down. Danny oomphed as he hit the concrete floor, Steve’s hand cradling the back of his head and cushioning it so he didn’t crack it open. Chin and Kono started towards them, but Steve’s head went up at their movement and he growled low in his throat, causing them to back off. Danny gripped the hair at the back of his head, redirecting his attention.
Steve pulled against Danny’s hold, finally getting the shorter man to release him. Freed, he rubbed his face against Danny’s neck and lower face; interspacing the motion with small nips and licks. In any other instance Danny would have pushed him away, but he figured out pretty quick what the shifter was doing and knew it would be better just to let him. Finally satisfied, Steve rolled to all fours above the smaller man. Danny snorted as he got a good look at the other man. “Oh, babe, you are so stoned.”
“Danny,” Chin spoke from his position off to the side. “I think you’d better take him home.”
“So open to suggestions, Chin,” Danny answered. “I’m kinda at a disadvantage here.”
“Kono, think you can distract our big kitty for a minute?” Chin asked.
“What did you have in mind?” Kono replied suspiciously. “I am not playing rookie bait.”
“He’s not violent,” Chin reassured her. “Just very, very playful.” Looking around he found a paper bag and quickly stuffed it half-full of catnip. Steve’s head had gone up at the movement and he was watching them; curiosity peeking through some of the glazed stoner look. Tossing the bag to Kono, Chin motioned for his cousin to take it upwards, correctly guessing that the shifter would follow her.
Danny rolled to his feet as soon as Steve was no longer pinning him down. “So. Ideas for getting him out of here?”
Chin looked up at the sound of thundering feet from above, but when no bodies came tumbling down and the noise continued onwards, he turned his attention back to Danny. “We need a second bag and more of the catnip. And then attempt to lure him into the car.”
“He can’t OD on this stuff, can he?” Danny questioned as they began to scour the surrounding area for a bag.
Chin held up a bag, checking to make sure there were no holes in it. “He’s not going to kill himself if that’s what you’re asking. Eventually he’ll pass out though. And he will reach a point where he’s got too much in his system.”
“We need to get him home before then,” Danny pointed out.
“No. You need to get him home. He’s not going to want either of us there once he starts to come down.”
Danny looked worried for a moment. “He’s not going to. This isn’t going. We just went through a rut. This won’t be that?” he asked quietly.
Chin shook his head, hastening to reassure the mainlander. “No. He’s just. He’ll be very affectionate, but not horny. He’ll probably want to sleep once he comes down.”
“Okay. Let’s go bag us a stoned kitty.” Danny finished stuffing the last of the bag with catnip. “Ideas?”
“Here, kitty, kitty?” Chin suggested with no trace of irony.
Danny rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket, dialing Kono. “Think you can lead psycho kitty back this way?” he asked when she answered. “Outside would be even better.”
“Sure thing, Danny,” she answered. “We getting him outta here?”
“Chin thinks it’ll be better if I take him home alone, but yeah,” Danny told her. “See ya outside.”
A few minutes after the two men exited the warehouse, Kono came running out; Steve hot on her heels. Danny was glad to see he hadn’t shifted into tiger form. Somehow the young cop was keeping a few steps ahead of him. Danny waved the bag, releasing the fresher scent into the air and Steve veered towards him, almost slamming Danny into the side of the Camaro. “Hey, ease up there, Rambo!” he yelped. “You can have the devil weed. Just…into the car!” He opened the door and tossed the bag inside, darting out of the way as Steve dived in after it.
The shifter grabbed the bag, pawing at it as if he forgot he had opposable thumbs and finally sticking his entire head inside as he got the bag open. Danny sighed in response, knowing he wouldn’t get the bag away without a fight. “How is this my life?” he asked. “No. Really. How is this my life? I did not sign up for this when you dragged me into your insanity of a task force.” He turned to see Chin and Kono watching him with amused smiles on their faces. “What?”
“You done, brah?” Kono asked.
“Yeah.” He glanced back at the car where Steve was still happily sniffing the bag. “I suppose I should be glad he’s still human. A three hundred plus pound stoned tiger is really not my idea of a fun time.”
“No, at least he’s semi-lucid in this state,” Chin agreed. “Take him home and Kono and I will come get the Camaro afterwards. And get it aired out.”
“Thanks, Chin.” Danny paused with his hand on the door. “I’ll…”
“Just go. We’ll lock things down here and then just come over to the house,” Chin told him.
Without another word, Danny got into the car, leaning over to buckle Steve in. The shifter was so focused on his bag of catnip that he didn’t even notice and Danny shook his head as he started the car, carefully backing away from the warehouse.
The drive back to their house was remarkably silent; the quietest car ride the two men had ever experienced. Danny kept glancing over at every opportunity to make sure Steve hadn’t passed out yet. The shifter was still happily snuffling in his bag each time though and Danny pulled into the driveway without incident. He realized the problem with their plan then since he had no bribe to get Steve into the house.
After a minute, Danny got out of the car, moving around and opening the passenger door. Reaching in, he brushed a hand across Steve’s head, smiling indulgently as the other man arched into the touch. “Hey. How about we go into the house?” he asked. Steve rolled his head, pushing up against Danny’s hand, but didn’t move. “If you come inside, I bet we can find somewhere to lie down,” he coaxed. “Come on.” Danny tugged on Steve’s arm, continuing to coax the larger man from the car.
It took a few minutes, but finally he got the shifter moving, although the larger man draped himself over Danny once they were both out of the car. Danny managed to get him to leave the bag in the car and they made their way up the path and into the house. Once inside, Steve broke away from the smaller man and strode away, clearly searching for something. A minute later, he was back and grabbing Danny by the arm. He tugged him in the direction he’d gone, making a mewling noise. “Okay, I got it, follow you,” Danny said. “I’m coming.” He grabbed a blanket as they passed the couch, guessing that they were heading for the crash part of Steve’s high.
Steve dragged him through the house to the only spot that was still getting sun at this time of day. Pushing at Danny until the other man started to lower himself to the ground; he arranged the two of them on the floor and promptly fell asleep. Danny blinked at the speed in which Steve had crashed, trying to shift position. Steve’s hands clenched on his thighs and he realized he was stuck here until the other man woke up. Leaning back against the wall, he absentmindedly ran his hand through Steve’s hair as he waited for Chin and Kono. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too long and he could have one of them get him a book or a tablet. Who knew how long Steve would sleep off this high. While he waited he began to make lists of who to go after for daring to poison his shifter. There was going to be hell to pay when Steve was feeling better. You didn’t mess with a mated pair.
Tags:
(no subject)
23/1/12 04:36 (UTC)2) catnipped Steve! He is gonna be sooooo hung over. Poor Danny.
(no subject)
23/1/12 23:23 (UTC)2) Yes, yes he is. LOL how is this his life? Right?